Why I’m not a real person

I’m tired, its been a bad week, my face feels like its a weird artificial mask attached to my head, and i’ve been staring unproductively at my list of topics i have banked to write about when I nothing comes to mind for over 45 minutes with no movement, so I’m just going to post some sleep graphs.

Basically, each “column” is a day, starting with midnight at the top, all the way to 11:59pm at the bottom, then starting again at the top the next day.  So if you went to bed at mightnight and woke up at 8am every day, it’d just be a solid bar across the top 1/3rd of the graph.

This is the closest to a “normal” person’s sleep pattern graph I can find:

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You can see some in the day naps (small bars in the middle of the graph), and obvious weekends where the person went to bed and woke up late (the dips at the bottom and stalactite-style bars at the top).

This is mine since December (I might be able to recover all my previous data from when I swapped phones, but I haven’t done so yet, and it looks very similar to this):

Screenshot_20170712-233744

You can see an obvious pattern.  I only have 7-8 really good cycles to work with, but my rough guessing has the cycle between 24.7 and 25.5 hours long, with no normal, habit, or drug assisted ability to “reset” it to 24 hours like most people do.

Since I started attempting to see what my sleep cycle is last July (upon suggestion from the current set of professionals I’m working with), this is the most well slept I’ve ever been.  Its still nowhere close to “good”, in the sense that I can’t reasonably predict or manage more than a few days out, and I don’t fully and exactly understand what the hell works and doesn’t, but its leaps and bounds better than it ever has been.

Explaining it is hard, and “i have sleep issues” makes everyone think I drink too much coffee at 6pm.   So starting with “I’m not a real person” is extreme, and hyperbole in some respects, but it certainly helps change the framing of the conversation away from starting at “have you tried melatonin/f.lux?” or “ya man, me too”.

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