A while back i started half-jokingly referring to myself as a meat robot, regarding my perceived inhumanity. It’s a fun phrase and idea, so it stuck.
As I work on more self-awareness, I feel far more like a pilot. I’ve got this incredibly complex panel of warning, caution, and positive lights and gauges in the form of emotions, and learning how to read it is crazy hard, super satisfying, and a lifelong endeavor.
The controls are weird: usually easy and flawless, but i don’t know exactly how the automated systems work. I can program them some, but it takes a lot of time.
Things start getting wonky when i put bad fuel in it, or don’t fuel it at all. The controls get hard to manage when there’s high levels of activation on the warning board, or I’m really pushing the limits.
Even data retrieval and processing is strange: everything is stored out of sight, and retrieval requires a certain finesse: can’t just ask for whatever you want and always get it, but going at it sideways, not looking directly at it, frequently works.
Things slow down or stop working when they haven’t gotten the proper maintance, as well… Really finicky.
It’s pretty sweet, though, all difficulties aside: it does a crazy amount of stuff for me, and manages all sorts of logistics, processing, and basic maintance mostly by itself.
Gonna keep playing with the analogy, but it’s been fun and helpful so far.