I can feel how (i think) tiredness affects my brain. (Day 76)

Not just the fog, a perfectly apt analogy, but also the lack of connections.

I can see all the things my brain touches when I’m well slept, and when @34 hours like i am now, feel standing the same place the same way, the same calm opened stance, and it’s standing all alone, nothing coming.

It’s tremendously frustrating when i let it be frustrating, or want to think too much when i can’t. It’s not awful when I’m in a okay place, because i know it sucks, but there’s nothing short term i can do about it (especially when i can’t fall asleep, despite being in this state)

I’m sure there’s a lot of more crystallized lessons and connections and thoughts here I Would love to note and share. But I’m empty, watching with wonder at how the autopilot works when all the normal connections are off.

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