When writing Day 53, “Coming to terms with Hating myself”, I was contemplating whether I should split that post into two pieces, so as to better pace myself, to not “expend” too much content at once. Save some of that time and effort for later, like jamming it in tupperware and looking forward to delicious leftovers for tomorrow’s dinner.
Which made me sit and think for a bit about what exactly I want to accomplish, as well as a fairly lengthy tangent into people getting paid by the hour vs for a task and the various problems with both systems. Hourly work encourages stretching out the time it takes to do something: putting less content into a given period of time; whereas task-based work encourages minimizing the amount of content put into the task, so you can have “more tasks”.
I realized I don’t want to pace myself, basically ever. I want to write giant, content dense posts, include fun quips and anecdotes and puns where I can hear the groans from across the country.
But I also have limited time and capacity. I am not infinite. I have to do things like pay bills and feed myself. So it’s completely reasonable to want to stuff some thoughts or pieces of good content away for later, especially when combined with concerns that 500+ words is a bit too big of a “bite” for a daily post. (I know several people have told me they are “behind” on my posts, and look forward to sitting down some weekend afternoon and reading through them for an hour or two, which was great feedback as well as positive reinforcement that I’ve made some people’s “read this when you get time” list)
My conclusion was to finish and post the whole Day 53; but also to hold onto that feeling, and translate it into motivation to write more, manage my time better so as to be able to write longer posts without stealing from other aspects of my life. And perhaps most importantly, put more time into actually getting the real blog set up, and ways to make a living off of doing research, analysis, and writing.
Of note: this is my first piece I’ve written ahead. I’d had plans to write non-time sensitive pieces in case I have a particularly bad day since the first week, but today (Day 53) was the first day I actually did it. It felt great, especially considering it was on the same day as writing one of my longest (and emotionally invested) posts, and also that I didn’t ‘slack,’ I was true to my goals and did my best to provide the most I could without sacrificing of myself.